Spiritual Awakening Journey: Pt. VII - Spaciousness
Look up into the night sky and you will feel the overwhelming spaciousness that envelops us. The dark void illuminated with specks of light in every direction. When you sit still in the silence to observe the vast spaciousness of the universe, how does it make you feel?
In the laws of particle physics everything in the universe, yes this includes us humans, are made up of atoms. And the atoms that we are made up of are 99.99999% empty space. Which means, we humans and everything in this world are 99.99999% empty space. Every atom is composed of a single speck of a nuclei surrounded by mostly empty space, and at the perimeter, exists rapidly moving electrons that create a cloud barrier for the atom. The teeny tiny nuclei is 100,000% smaller than the atom it is in. A common analogy is if the atom was the size of a stadium, the nuclei would be a peanut in the middle, and the electrons would be at the outside perimeter of the stadium. In between is just empty space. If all of the empty space was somehow compressed, the entire human race would fit into the volume of a single sugar cube. So where does the body mass come from? It comes from energy.
Everything you eat, come into contact with, the environment you’re in, what you engage with produces radioactivity within your body. Energy is constantly generating within us and passing through us, including energy from the sun and even cosmic rays from outer space. The high energy radiation can cause subtle mutations in our genetics and is perhaps a major driver of evolution.
The composition of human beings share 97% of the same atoms found in the stars, particularly towards the center of the Milky Way Galaxy. We share the same building blocks of life, including: carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, phosphorus and sulfur.
Form is just a mere illusion. The illusion of electrons moving so fast it appears to be everywhere at the same time. Hence the illusion of solid form. The thing we touch and feel is not actually the thing itself, it is the repelling of the electrons between different atoms.
Which means, humans are primarily made up of empty space, filled with energy.
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After the intense spiritual awakening phases of excavation, processing, shedding, and integration, I was left with space. I was so stripped down, bare, raw, there was little left. I felt like nothing, and had no sense of self or reality. At the time, I perceived it as having nothing. And it took me some time to understand that I actually had gained something enormously valuable. I had reclaimed my space, my natural state of being.
Feeling spaciousness within feels like being a feather and a rock at the same time. I felt incredibly light and solid, rooted yet able to fly. It felt liberating and peaceful, expansive, and full of enormous possibility. I was able to be more in tune, perceptive, and connected with the energy inside and all around. By creating internal space, energy was better able to move through me. My ‘energy antennae’ was far more perceptive, heightened, and attuned. Which in turn, allowed me to ‘see’ and understand things I was blind to before, shift perspectives, and access greater intelligence.
However, before I was able to understand and appreciate space, and open my receptivity to heightened energy, I had to sit in space for awhile. At the time, I remember shortly after my shedding period, I was immediately trying to fill the space. Unconsciously, I was filling the space, just like I always did before, as a result of old societal programming of staying busy and being productive. My body intervened several times, and I was undergoing several rounds of ascension sickness. It took me three rounds before I finally understood, I had to stay put. My body did not want me to move or do anything. The first few weeks were hard. At the time, I hated it. It made me feel uncomfortable, frustrated, bored, and restless. Which meant there was a major lesson for me to learn here. I was just required to sit around in the silence, stillness, and in my new-found space. And I sat in that space for awhile, not knowing, not getting any messages or guidance, just radio silence. And so, I continued to ‘be in the space’, day after day. Week after week.
The energy at the time was encouraging me to stop doing and to notice and appreciate the space I had cultivated. It wanted me to continue the work of introspection and uncovering patterns (such as, the ‘always be productive’ program) that still needed to be examined and reprogrammed. Patience was a major lesson here. I reminded myself that there is no need to rush, things are rarely truly urgent, other people do not set the timeline and priorities for me, there is nowhere I need to be now, and there is no need to worry about the future. My body was also going through a period of integration, awakening and regeneration. After an intense shedding period, it too needed to realign and rebuild itself to accommodate the higher shift in energy frequency.
And with time, I began to understand that the space was actually an enormous gift that I had worked hard for. ‘Spaciousness’ is the result of intense inner cleaning, processing, releasing, inner cultivation…a.k.a. ‘healing.’ And that I really should not be in such a rush to give it away, or fill it, especially with useless nonsense. No, I was not going to fill my internal space again with noise, garbage, and crap that I have no need for or that truly does not benefit me. I realized this actually extended to every aspect in my life, including people/connections, content consumption, experiences, things, and essentially what I focus my attention on and give my energy to. This time, I was going to be more intentional about what I give my attention to and if I even need to fill or hold that energy inside of me?
We tend to fill empty spaces in our lives because we’re so afraid of them being left unfilled. Perhaps because we need to fill it to feel whole, or loved, or serve as proof that we exist and have some sense of purpose in our lives. We’re constantly told and programmed by society to believe that we are not whole. And to prove our worth, our social capital, that we need to fill our space, our time, to consume, and to give ourselves away externaly. But filling space is just more clutter, noise, and chaos. All of the STUFF is just an external representation of the clutter that exists within. When people are used to a state of busyiness and noise, they attract more noise. It only compounds. Illusion reinforces, and our ability to ‘see’ is clouded. Egos reinforce the illusion. And it becomes a vicious cycle.
Perceived space, silence, ‘nothingness’, or having ‘nothing’ is not necessarily something we should judge or deem as negative or ‘bad.’ Space is actually a natural state of existence and life. Space is what we’re made of and it exists all around us and in us whether we accept it or not. And we should really be more thoughtful and purposeful about what we actually choose to create within the space. I’d like to defy the common perception of space being “empty” and something that needs to be immediately filled with something. Space actually is the clarity in which we can truly see what is meaningful and what really needs to be created.
Spaciousness, I believe, is the ‘state of being’ that can save us all. Realizing a true sense of inner spaciousness, peace, freedom, and personal power begins with creating inner space, letting go, death, release, and regeneration. Space can be a container but it can also be expansive. It is the cushion that allows us to bear witness to our true selves and the truth of our natural expression. Recognizing and honoring our true nature of spaciousness is what allows us to make true decisions and act, not as an immediate reaction to external influences, but from a place of inner truth and power within. Allow ourselves patience and grace to operate from a foundation of personal power, instead of immediately giving it away to external influences and people. We can allow ourselves space and time to decide how we want to invest our energy.
Space is beautiful, space is peace, space is expansion and growth, space is grace, space is an act of love for yourself and others.
How can you hold more space in your life?