Breakthroughs

In my meditations whenever I have a breakthrough or an epiphany, it usually is accompanied by a tidal wave of emotion and/or crying. Not necessarily because I’m sad, but because it all feels so undeniably true. For me, the tears bring Truth. The tears bring the truth, and washes away the emotions I’m meant to process and let go of.

There’s this quiet, bitter sweetness when I uncover a truth, a fear, or a repressed memory from lives past. I return to a child-like state that feels raw and gentle at the same time. It’s a quiet but utterly deep feeling of knowing. Once it rises out of me, it feels like a big ocean wave. It feels like it was always there even though two seconds ago I never knew it existed. Everything becomes so crystal clear and in that moment I’m able to see all the reasons why I am the way I am, and all the reasons why I do the things I do. There are never any mistakes for how we feel. It’s a monumental and beautiful moment when you can see yourself in such rawness and Truth. Knowing that you did the best you could, and now you can let it all go to start anew.

For example, in a meditation I uncovered a big fear around writing. I never knew it was in there. Even when it rose out of me in the moment I was confused. But it was so clear from my emotions that this big thing, this massive fear, was inside of me all along. I never knew it was there, and I never had any signs other than feeling like something was ‘stuck’ or ‘blocked’ when it came to writing and expression. In excavating and allowing this repressed fear that lived inside of me to surface, I was able to see and acknowledge it for what it was. I was able to re-experience, re-live, and re-feel the emotional energy of the fear and even access memories from lives past of why the fear was created. In doing so, I was able to liberate a part of myself and release its blockage. And once I did so I was able to understand and feel that there was no reason to be afraid anymore.

That’s the beauty of meditation. In the space and time you give yourself out of love and patience, you allow what is inside of you to rise and show itself. All the things that live within us are the things that influence who we think we are and shapes our everyday decisions. What is inside is really what we are meant to release, so we can more clearly see who we really are and how we’re meant to move forward. It’s a strange process that requires us to re-learn ourselves, while also learning to continuously adapt and change. Sometimes what needs healing in the past somehow alters the state of the present and the future. We never know how or when, but it’s a beautiful process of alchemy within.

With every breakthrough, a new door opens presenting new opportunities and possibilities. Every time you do this for yourself, it can feel like a little miracle.