Breakthroughs
In my meditations whenever I have a breakthrough or an epiphany, it usually is accompanied by tidal wave of emotion and crying. Not necessarily because I’m sad, but because it all feels so undeniably true. I’ve said this before that the tears bring the truth. The tears bring the truth, and washes away the emotions you’re meant to process and let go of.
There’s this quiet, bitter sweetness when I uncover a truth, a fear, or a repressed memory from lives past. I return to a child-like state that feels raw and gentle at the same time. It’s a quiet but utterly deep feeling of knowing. Once it rises out of me, it feels like a big ocean wave. It feels like it was always there even though two seconds ago I never knew it existed. Everything becomes so crystal clear and in that moment of grace I’m able to see all the reasons why I am the way I am, and all the reasons why I do the things I do. There never are any mistakes for how we feel. It’s a monumental and beautiful moment when you can see yourself in such rawness and truth. Know that you did the best you could, and you can let it all go and start anew.
Recently in a meditation I uncovered a big fear that I actually had about writing. I never knew it was in there. Even when it rose out of me in the moment I was confused. But it was so clear from my emotions that this big thing, this massive fear, was inside of me all along. I never knew it was there, and I never had any signs other than feeling like something was ‘stuck’ or ‘blocked’ when it came to writing and expression. In realizing and feeling this repressed fear that lived inside of me, it allowed me to recognize that there is no reason to be afraid anymore. And in releasing emotions from memories and lives past, I resolved and liberated a part of myself. It unblocked something massive inside of me that always held me back in expression. And understanding that creative abilities are so tied to the ability to freely feel and embrace emotions. The more we feel, the more we are free to create.
That’s the beauty of meditation. In the space and time you give yourself out of love and patience, you allow what is inside of you to rise and show itself. All the things that live within us are the things that influence who we are. And it also shows us how we’re meant to grow and move on. It gives us clues as to the person we’re meant to grow into. We do the work of meditation, healing and understanding as a means to learn and evolve. It’s a strange process that requires us to re-learn ourselves, constantly, while also learning to continuously adapt and change. Sometimes what needs healing in the past somehow alters the state of the present and the future. We never know how or when, but it’s this beautiful process of alchemy within.
It’s important to understand yourself to be able to master yourself, and harness the energy and abilities you’ve been gifted with to do wonderful and positive things in the world out of love, not out of ego. It is our collective responsibility. With every breakthrough, a new door opens presenting new opportunities and possibilities. Every time you do this for yourself, it feels like a little miracle.