The Illusion of Too Many Options
I think what’s really interesting about being a millennial is that we are really the first generation to be faced with the opportunity and the challenge of having “too many options.” The internet completely blew open our world to all that is possible, but it also created more vulnerability.
According to CNBC, the #1 complaint of millennials in therapy is, “I have too many choices and I can’t decide what to do. What if I make the wrong choice?” Failure, making the wrong choices, and not living up to expectations are what plagues millennials in adulthood. They feel overwhelmed by having too many options and facing too many choices, and oftentimes don’t feel they can make the right choice because ultimately they feel disconnected from themselves and what their inner GPS tells them to be right. Too many choices, the pressure to perform, and being disconnected from one’s true self is an easy recipe for confusion and external mind control. Millennials have been programmed to focus on external feedback, live up to external expectations, crave validation and approval, and constantly strive for achievement and perfection in selves and in all aspects of life. All of this leading to enormous pressure on the self to optimally perform and continuously meet expectations…all contributing to the generation-wide pandemic of chronic anxiety, stress, depression, mental health conditions, and chronic health conditions, which far outpace rates within Gen X at our age.
What the internet did for us was make us aware of all that exists and all that is possible. It opened up our worldview and made us conscious of possibility. And millennials are the generation of possibility. We grew up with the belief that we could be anyone and do anything if we set our mind to it. Which is the premise of being an embodied soul living a life on Earth. It speaks to the growth potential of being human and what we could be capable of if we heal and evolve ourselves. And in our generation, self-discovery and personal development is top of mind for the ambitious kind. What is interesting is that our generation would rather turn to social media and the internet for self-help advice, than a doctor or psychologist with a medical degree. Perhaps we understand unconsciously that what we are seeking to do cannot be found within the status quo of institutional knowledge and western medicine. While social media and the internet should in theory represent diversity in thought, it has become extraordinarily homogenized due to monetization and performance metrics. And because of the primary desire to perform, content and self-help advice across social media and the internet continues to rehash the same socially accepted beliefs and perspectives, speaking to what is popular or trending now but not necessarily what actually works in the long-term. Much of it simply reinforces and serves the desire to be perfect and self-optimized according to status quo beliefs and standards. Social media and the internet can actually have an opposite affect of narrowing our sense of possibility and limit us to what we should believe and how we should be in the world.
The work to discover one’s real potential and possibility is way more nuanced and complex than what is popularly discussed on social media and the internet. This goes way beyond the superficial illusion of a physical glow-up and better mental control. We’re talking about breaking ourselves completely wide open to excavate and free our souls—the real energy that powers a whole human glow-up, not an artificial, surface-level facade of one. But this would require people to do the opposite of self-perfection and maintaining the facade of self-optimization. It would require people to completely let go, fall apart, admit not knowing, and allow the death and destruction of themselves and their lives. Everything that people worked so hard for over time — they would have to give it up in the pursuit of something completely unknown and new. To create space for something more real, more true, and uniquely their own.
Speaking in spiritual terms, if the status quo of physical life is an unconscious illusion and simulation, social media is a conscious incubator of illusion. It’s as if humans unconsciously recreated their own existence but in another form. The noise of social media is a visual catalog of human unconsciousness. If the internet opened up our sense of possibility, social media then gave us a container or a virtual simulation to test our ability to be anyone or do anything. And to prove if it works or not, it enabled us to form weak energetic ties with anyone in the world, and use that as a superficial form of social currency. Nearly 20 years later, what is crazy is that this virtual simulation has now become the status quo method of connecting and relating with other human beings. In this virtual simulation, people can decide who they want to be, what kind of identity or brand they want to reinforce, and if they want to capitalize on it. It has become a platform for people to reinforce and strengthen their egos, whether they are true or not, it does not matter. Everything has become commoditized, including people, as if anyone and anything is something that can be purchased on a store shelf. People have turned themselves into commodities and items for consumption in the digital catalog of the internet. Surface-level has become more important than the truth of a person beneath the surface. I think that’s why more than ever, our culture is so obsessed with physical appearance. I almost see it as a strengthening or reinforcing of the external shell, hardening and protecting people to hide the wounds and vulnerabilities that lie within. In a way, physical beauty has become increasingly more like armor. Yes nature tends to protect what is beautiful, but ultimately, what is true survives.
The idea of too many options and choices are an illusion as well. We can believe that every option and choice is available to us, and therefor become overwhelmed by the infinite possibility of it all. But this distorted perception only serves to inhibit our ability to choose and make decisions among the actual, real set of options being presented to an individual in the moment. Not everyone actually has access to all choices and options now. Not everyone is ready for certain options and choices now. I think it’s important to remember that what we create is based on how we focus. If an individual is lost, overwhelmed, unfocused, and constantly swayed by external influences, they will not be able to focus their energy to create what they truly desire. We can focus by staying connected and true to who we actually are, what we actually need and desire, and responding to the options actually being presented to us in the present moment. It is too easy and foolish to look at the illusions of choice presented on the internet, social media or on apps, and believe that everything is available to us now. Or even use it as templates or guidance for how to make our decisions, or influence what we should value, or even how we should be and live our lives. It’s too easy of a trap to fall into. The point is, that it’s not about having as many options as possible. It’s about focusing on the options that uniquely align with you, and, are available to you now. More is not better. It’s about what is right just for you. When we apply the philosophy of capitalism to how we should be and live our personal lives, we will never be happy.
Knowing which options are right for you, and how to make your own choices in life for your self is a skill that must be cultivated through understanding and accepting the uniqueness of your true self or soul. Forget all about what other people are doing, believing or valuing, and instead, focus on what you truly value and desire, and pursue that instead. Already, this will completely narrow down and eliminate all of the irrelevant options that aren’t for you. Endeavor to open yourself up to indivdual change and evolution, and your options will change and evolve as well. Every day, each person realistically is presented with their own set of options and choices to make in the present moment. We can never know, control, or plan ahead to know where it will all lead to, so over-analyzing is useless. Instead, simply close your eyes and make the decision that makes you smile, or triggers a sense of excitement, fear, and challenge. It’s up to you. We can stop trying to open doors that are not meant for us or opening old ones expired from the past. Instead remain present and feeling, and the door that is meant for you will appear. Trust your intuition and you’ll know which choice to make. Be open to taking risks, to not knowing, to being imperfect, to learning and growth.