The Illusion of Too Many Options
I think what’s really interesting about being a millennial is that we are really the first generation to be faced with the opportunity and the challenge of having “too many options.” The internet completely blew open our world to all that is possible, but it also exposed us to a greater sense of vulnerability.
According to CNBC, the #1 complaint of millennials in therapy is, “I have too many choices and I can’t decide what to do. What if I make the wrong choice?”
Failure, making the wrong choices, and fear of not living up to expectations plagues many millennials in adulthood. They feel overwhelmed by having too many options, and oftentimes feel debilitated in taking the next step because they don’t have it all figured out. Millennials were raised to be risk adverse because they were raised to strive for perfection. Millennials have been programmed to focus on external feedback, live up to external standards, crave validation and approval, and constantly strive for achievement and perfection. They are trained to hold themselves to impossible standards that defy the nature and reality of life. We were raised to be sheltered in the sense that we believe that we can achieve success without needing to take risks. Too many choices, the pressure to perform, and programmed to look externally for feedback, contributes to the generational increase in chronic anxiety, stress, depression, and chronic health conditions, which far outpace rates in Gen X at their age range.
What the internet did for millennials was make us aware of all that exists and all that is possible. It opened up our worldview, and made us conscious of possibility. And millennials are the generation of possibility. We grew up with the belief that we could be anyone and do anything if we set our mind to it. And in our generation, self-discovery and personal development is top of mind for the ambitious kind. We have a sort of built-in desire to challenge the status quo, while also being beholden to it. Breaking away would mean we would have to take risks and not have it all figured out. This internal tug-o-war creeps in the back of many millennials minds. Wanting to quit their jobs to travel the world can be seen as a common dream for many in the millennial generation.
Millennials are also the first generation to have grown up with social media. A strange portal to the ego manifestations of our collective consciousness. Here, we can escape, explore, and get lost in an endless scroll of information and stimuli. We can collect reference points and gain consensus over what exists and what is approved within the digital sphere. And we can present our selves and our lives how we’d like it to appear. If our physical reality is an unconscious illusion and simulation, then social media is a conscious incubator of illusion. It serves as a projection of our reality, or even a creation of an alternate one. If the internet opened up our sense of possibility with access to information, social media then gave us a container or a virtual simulation to test our ability to create illusions and alternate realities. In this virtual simulation, people can decide who they want to be, what kind of identity they want to reinforce, and if they want to capitalize on it. People can turn themselves into commodities for consumption, or any output, in the digital catalog of the internet. The possibilities appear to be endless. The rise of social media with the millennial generation is such an appropriate pairing, both come of age with the belief, that you can be anyone, and do anything.
In an era where we believe this to be true, it is easy to get lost in the illusion of too many options. How can one possibly decide when we believe that we can have access to everything? How can one even know how to decide if they haven’t experienced it all or gotten all of the information first? Well the idea of, you can be anyone and do anything is not completely wrong, but it’s also not true either. No person can literally be anyone or do anything. They can only be who they are meant to be, and can do what they are meant to do. This applies to the options that come along in a person’s life as well. Not every option is realistically even going to be available to every person. The range of infinite possibilities are not realistically within everyone’s reach at any given moment.
Having too many choices and options are an illusion. We can believe that every option and choice is available to us, and therefor become overwhelmed by the infinite possibility of it all. Or, we can realize this is a distorted perception that only serves to inhibit our ability to act and make a decision among the actual, real set of options being presented to an individual in the present moment. An option is not an option if it is not actually viable now. We may like to believe that we have more options than we actually have. But there are only the options presented to us in the moment, that are applicable to our circumstance of the moment. Moving forward with the present option can give way to the expansion of other future options, but only if one doesn’t get stuck in the illusion of having too many options they don’t actually have.
It’s a delicate balance, to be both expansive in possibility, but also realistic in the present. To discern which option(s) is being presented to you in the present moment, and to act. To just accept that we won’t have all of the information, all of the answers, or have it all figured out. Much of it asks us to take a leap of faith, to just do it and see what happens. And to be open to learning from it either way. It’s not about getting it right, or getting it perfect, or making the right choice. It’s about making choices. Period. We can never know, control, or plan ahead to know where it will all lead to, so over-analyzing is useless. Instead, all we can do is simply close our eyes and make the decision that makes us smile, or triggers a sense of excitement, fear, a challenge, a sense of possibility or curiosity. We can stop trying to open doors that are not meant for us, or opening old ones expired from the past. Instead remain present and feeling, and the door that is meant for you will appear. Trust your intuition and you’ll know which choice to make. Be open to taking risks, to not knowing, to being imperfect, to learning and to growth.