Too Many Options
I think what’s really interesting about being a millennial is that we are really the first generation to be faced with the opportunity and the challenge of having “too many options.” The internet completely blew open our world to all that is possible, but also created more vulnerability. If you’re like me, I count my lucky stars that I am an ‘elder’ millennial and got to enjoy an internet/social-media-free childhood where imagination and exploration were exercised in the real world.
According to CNBC, the #1 complaint of millennials in therapy is, “I have too many choices and I can’t decide what to do. What if I make the wrong choice?” Failure, making the wrong choices, and not living up to expectations are what plagues millennials in adulthood. They feel overwhelmed by having too many options and facing too many choices, and oftentimes don’t feel they can make the right choice because ultimately they feel disconnected from themselves and what their inner GPS tells them to be right. Too many choices, the pressure to perform, and being disconnected from one’s true self is an easy recipe for confusion and external mind control. Millennials have been programmed to focus on external feedback, live up to external expectations, crave validation and approval, and constantly strive for achievement and perfection in selves and in all aspects of life. All of this leading to enormous pressure on the self to optimally perform and continuously meet expectations…all contributing to the generation-wide pandemic of chronic anxiety, stress, depression, mental health conditions, and chronic health conditions, which outpace rates within Gen X at our age.
What the internet did for us was make us aware of all that exists and all that is possible. It opened up our worldview and made us conscious of possibility. And millennials are the generation of possibility. We grew up with the belief that we could be anyone and do anything, if we set our mind to it. Which is the premise of being an embodied soul living a life on Earth. It speaks to the growth potential of being human and what we could be capable of if we heal and evolve ourselves. And in our generation, self-discovery and personal development is top of mind for the ambitious kind. What is interesting is that our generation would rather turn to social media and the internet for self-help advice, than a doctor or psychologist with a medical degree, because we understand unconsciously that what we are seeking to do cannot be found in the status quo of institutions and western medicine. While social media and the internet should in theory represent diversity in thought, it has become extraordinarily homogenized due to monetization and performance metrics. And because of the primary desire to perform, content and self-help advice across social media and the internet continues to rehash the same messages and perspectives to speak to what is popular or trending now, but not necessarily what actually works. Much of it simply reinforces and serves the desire to be perfect and self-optimized according to status quo beliefs and standards. Social media and the internet can actually have an opposite affect of narrowing our sense of possibility and limit us to what we should believe and how we should be in the world. The work to discover one’s real potential and possibility is way more nuanced and complex than what is popularly discussed on social media and the internet. We’re not talking about a physical glow-up and better mental control, we’re talking about breaking ourselves wide open to excavate and free our souls—the real energy that powers a whole human glow-up, not an artificial, surface-level facade of one. And while we can turn to the internet to give us a sense of possibility, what we see and read doesn’t really matter because it’s ultimately irrelevant. It’s up to each individual to be led by intelligence inside of them, not external of them, to discover their own version of possibility and potential that aligns with their specific purpose in life.
If internet opened up our sense of possibility, social media then gave us a container or a virtual simulation to test our ability to be anyone or do anything. And to prove if it works or not, it enabled us to form weak energetic ties with anyone in the world, and use that as a superficial form of social currency. Nearly 20 years later, what is crazy is that this virtual simulation has now become the status quo method of connecting and relating with other human beings. It’s become a way for people to reinforce, strengthen or even hide their egos behind another facade or curtain of identity. Serving to further reinforce humanity’s insecure need for external validation, approval, and the illusion of perfection. Speaking in spiritual terms, if physical life is an unconscious illusion and simulation, social media is a conscious incubator of illusion. It’s as if humans unconsciously recreated their own existence but in another form. The noise of social media is a visual catalog of human unconsciousness, almost mocking humanity, making it so utterly obvious, pointing out to us all that everything in it is an illusion and is not real. Surface-level has become even more important than the quality of the content within a person, or even the truth beneath the surface. I think that’s why more than ever, our culture is so obsessed with physical appearance and external beauty. I almost see it as a strengthening or reinforcing of the external shell, hardening and protecting people from the wounds and vulnerabilities within themselves. In a way, physical beauty has become increasingly more like armor. Yes nature protects what is beautiful, but ultimately, it protects what is true.
The idea of too many options and choices are an illusion as well. We can believe that every option and choice is available to us, and therefor become overwhelmed by the infinite possibility of it all. Everything has become commoditized, including people, as if anyone and anything is something that can be purchased on a store shelf. But this distorted perception only serves to inhibit our ability to actually choose and make decisions among the actual, real set of options being presented to an individual in the moment. Not everyone actually has access to all choices and options now. Not everyone is ready for certain options and choices now. I think what is important to keep in mind, is that all we need to focus on is staying true to who we actually are, what we actually desire/need/want, and responding to the options actually being presented to us in the present moment. And to do so based on who we are, what we uniquely value and desire, and what we would honestly and truthfully enjoy. It is too easy and foolish to look at the illusions of choice presented on the internet or on social media or on apps, and believe that everything is available to us now. Or even use it as templates or guidance for how to make our decisions, or influence what we should value, or even how we should modify ourselves or live our lives. It’s too easy of a trap to fall into. The point is that it’s now about having as many options as possible, it’s about the options that uniquely align with the individual. More is not better. It’s about what is right just for you. When we apply the philosophy of capitalism to how we be and live in our personal lives, we will never be happy.
Knowing which options are right for you, and how to make your own choices in life for your self is a skill that must be cultivated through knowing and accepting the uniqueness of your true self or soul. Forget all about what other people are doing or valuing, and instead focus on what you truly value and desire, and pursue that instead. Already, this will completely narrow down and eliminate all of the irrelevant options that aren’t for you. Endeavor to open yourself up to change and evolve, and your options will change and evolve as well. Every day, each person realistically is presented with their own set of options and choices to make in the present moment. We can never know or control or plan ahead to know where it will all lead to, so over-analyzing is useless. Instead, simply close your eyes and make the decision that makes you smile, or makes you a bit afraid and challenges you. It’s up to you. Stop trying to open doors that are not meant for you or opening old ones expired from the past. Instead remain present and feeling, and the door that is meant for you will appear. Trust your intuition and then you’ll know which choice to make.