Expanding Sense of Self Through Challenge

Oftentimes in life we are confronted with challenges that totally disrupt our way of thinking and being. As if they put us in a space of unbearable discomfort and anxiety. Forcing us to break through the status quo of personal habits and norms. They force us to reckon with our inner mind games that can justify why something is a bad idea, or not safe, or doesn’t work, or just straight-up wrong, when perhaps there is more for us to consider. Or, perhaps even convince us why we should remain the same out of fear of uncertainty. Defining challenges can force us to break out of our shell and to question all of the mechanisms we believe keep our selves safe.

I think anytime we feel intense emotions that trigger a flood of mental coping mechanisms, it usually indicates that there’s something deeply important happening here that is critical to one’s personal growth. Whatever it is, instead of closing off to it out of discomfort, opening to it and being present in the discomfort can allow us to learn from it and help show us the way. It’s a really common approach in society to encourage people to avoid uncomfortable situations and to shut it down immediately. Either walk or run away, or say no to a challenge. It’s usually paired with a message around not letting the things we deem ‘negative’ into our life…but it’s really a message of protecting the ego from possible pain and disruption. If an experience has the “power” to hurt you, then it’s your own self attracting it to help break you down. So that you can learn from it and overcome what it is that you are struggling with. It’s a sign, that in the mess and discomfort of it all, that there’s a really important lesson there to learn. When you’ve learned the lesson and have expressed what needs to be released, then such things no longer have the “power” to hurt you. If you have learned the lesson and shifted your perspective, then the unconscious self will no longer attract the experience necessary to help you learn from it. But if we run away or avoid it all together, what usually ends up happening is that a similar experience will find its way to us, again and again, until we learn the lesson.

The most uncomfortable experiences are actually some of life’s greatest gifts, for our ultimate benefit in expanding our sense of self. If you can stay with the discomfort and learn to practice patience, higher perspective, self-reflection, the willingness to be wrong, and the courage to acknowledge and express your true feelings, then one will find their way through it all. Along the way, realizations will naturally unfold, with patience and time. It can be challenging to discern which are ego messages and which are soul messages, but in time, the true lessons will be revealed. They will naturally last as long as it needs to untill you learn and embody its wisdom. Once you do, it will somehow naturally fall away. And you will be ready for a new and different experience to learn from. We all have lessons to learn. Learning those lessons through experience is what makes life feel meaningful.