Break Free from the Consumption - Comparison Trap
We receive so many messages and so much information every single day when living in a technology-connected world. Someone from across the world—someone you don’t even know—can have the power to influence your thinking or shape how you feel. A deep lack of discernment and lack of boundaries is woven into the fabric of our current society. People are programmed to need validation and approval, be open and connected 24/7, and constantly improve and compete. This ‘internalized capitalism’ ensures that people are both active consumers and are consumable.
We are living in an age of content overload. From the moment you wake up to the moment your head hits the pillow, I bet you’re looking at your phone. Perhaps you find yourself spending an hour or more in a rabbit hole getting lost on instagram. During the day, the content stream is relentless. Email, texts, pings, alerts, news feeds, video, media, social media…it doesn’t stop. Think for a second what that is doing to your brain. To your body. To your nervous system. It is in a constant state of stress; on high alert because any moment you can receive a new message or request that you must immediately respond to. And in-between, your system is processing and sorting through all of that information trying to discern what is important.
But most of consumable content is mind garbage. There is also never any down time either to properly rest, process, discharge waste, and regenerate. This is the sped-up process of deterioration of the mind and body. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, spirituality (whatever you believe in or want to call it) is very much a health concern, and health is very much political.
So why do we feel that we must consume all of this content? Why do we actively participate in the stream without proper boundaries, limitations and discernment?
If you are born into society, you are programmed according to capitalistic values. Capitalism is the driving philosophy and foundation of our society. It favors competition. Internalized capitalism requires us to compete to be a productive member of society. And to compete in society, you must be aware of the competition and the landscape. This ensures consumption of media and content. And our consumption of media and content is insatiable. But consuming more content does not necessarily equate to being better, more informed, or more connected.
The lack of awareness and discernment around the quality of content deserves more education. Consider what you are actually feeding your mind and self. Consider the underlying messages you’re absorbing. Consider the person or the source. Consider how it makes you feel. Sometimes what looks okay is actually not what it appears to be.
In the culture of social media and personal branding, people have learned to commodify themselves for consumption. People have willingly and happily turned themselves into products on a digital shelf. Spending much of their personal energy and time creating content in exchange for likes, followers and validation. Validation has strengthened into a form of currency. Profiles become a ‘storefront’ to a person. Somehow a social persona becomes a representation of who a person is…further flattening and over-simplifying a human being. Like what you see? Want more? As if digital personas could ever reflect and represent the dynamic nature of a human being.
It has permeated all aspects of our lives in society, changed the way people connect with and relate to each other, and has reinforced a culture of comparison and judgement.
Media consumption and comparison goes hand-in-hand. When we turn people into content, they become just like the rest of content. It’s a way of dehumanizing and over-simplifying people into ‘brands’, stereotypes, categories, and one-dimensional personas for advertising. And the sad part is that people willingly participate. Narrowly defining themselves within categories to simplify and clarify their personal brand. Altering and selling their bodies and faces, while touting messages of self-love.
This commoditization, dehumanization, and over-simplification of people allows for judgement and comparison to be acceptable and commonplace behavior.
Comparison is the act of focusing on what everyone else is doing, and seeing how you compare or measure up. It is natural to compare yourself to others to see how you’re doing and most of the time it’s done unconsciously. But ultimately, what someone else is doing really has nothing to do with what you’re doing and where you’re going.
What I want to emphasize here is that there is no use in comparing yourself to other people. It is simply a waste of your energy if you are doing it to inform how you feel about and place yourself. We can all inspire each other, teach each other, serve as examples for each other. But at the end of the day, each and every person has their own unique journey in life. Their path is completely their own, and the pacing, timing, experiences, lessons and outcomes are uniquely theirs. When people are focused on walking their own higher journey, there is no point in looking at another’s. The course curriculum is different. The timing and length is different. The cycles and phases are different. The milestones are different. The goals are different. The desires are different. The lives are simply meant to manifest differently. When people are not focused on walking their own path, it can be understandable to want to look at another person’s life for clues or answers. But it will not provide the answers that are uniquely yours because you’re trying to figure out how to live your own life by looking at someone else’s. Even if you try to model your life after another’s it won’t be the life that you’re meant to live. You’ll be living a false and untrue life. And you’ll be holding yourself back from the one you’re supposed to be living.
Recognize that we are all on our own journeys. Focus on your own growth, and walk your own path.
I don’t think it is beneficial nor meaningful to try to live a life by using external examples as benchmarks, when your spirit is so very unique. Do not allow yourself to create space for doubt or not ‘feeling good enough’ to take root inside of you. If you feel it creeping, cut it back. Cut your media consumption back. Stop the endless scroll. Be mindful of what you are consuming. The time spent scrolling on social media or content should be time spent on nurturing yourself. Do not give your energy and power to someone or something else. Try to live your own life built on your own truths.
So instead of comparing or scrolling, return the focus back to you. Create a list of things that nurture and build yourself up. This could include:
Do the thing or hobby that makes you feels good and strong— the thing that allows you to express your natural self and abilities. It gives you confidence and energy. It makes you smile when do it. And if you don’t know yet, explore and experiment!
Do a self-care act that feels recharging, nourishing and pleasurable. Could be something simple like taking a bath or going for a swim.
Create a list of all the weird and unique things about yourself and learn to appreciate them.
Reflect and journal all the things you have accomplished and feel proud of. It could be something as simple as starting a new sleep or eating regimen or starting to meditate for 10 minutes a day. Simple steps that feel like incremental progress are still achievements. Any decision you make that makes you feel good is an achievement. Acknowledging these steps are empowering because real change happens in the process.