Unconditional Love Through Understanding
It is my personal belief that unconditional love is not necessarily about what we do and what we give, but more about how we endeavor to understand.
It is in the culture of the times, to define ‘unconditional love’ as unconditional giving and receiving. That to love you must give and receive, and that it must be done selflessly and unconditionally, according to legacy spiritual and religious institutions and traditions. But in today’s times, not everyone is in a place where they can give unconditionally as they do not know how to even ‘give’ to themselves. And more importantly, we as a society have lost touch with what the truth of love even means and feels like. And I believe, our capitalistic culture very much reinforces the ‘giving and receiving’ philosophy of love as it is in line with the nature of consumerism. We are programmed to believe that love is an action, in our overly masculine energetic society. That is must be demonstrated through an action, in which one gives and receives. Society knows the ‘act of love’, but not how to exist or ‘be in love.’ People are also programmed to even believe that love should be an ‘even exchange’ for it to be fair and loving. I give to you, therfor you must give to me, in some material or actionable form.
But love is not necessarily in the giving or in the action, it is simply in just the being. Of merely being alive, open, present, connected, feeling. We do not necessarily need to receive love from anyone or anything, but rather we can receive because it is all around us. It is a choice to open, to receive, to notice, and to feel it. We do not have to wait for it to be given, we can simply choose to be in love, at any moment, anytime. Love can be received, freely, from thin air.
Nature is our greatest reminder of this. We can simply remember by being alone and present in the middle of a forest surrounded by trees, or in the loving observation of two birds chirping at and grooming each other, or in the warm embrace of the wind. We will not receive love if we choose to not be open to it in the most simple and natural ways. Love does not have to be extravagant, nor necessarily take any physical form. As love ultimately is energy, and it not bound by form, as we are.
I understand that in today’s times, it is complex and challenging. That everything feels all jumbled and confused, and illusions and suffering is rampant in society. Therefor I don’t think the same old message of unconditional love is in unconditional giving and receiving, of actions. Instead, maybe we can break it down into baby steps for people. Maybe before they can give and receive unconditionally to others, and even before they can do that for themselves, perhaps they can start with unconditional love as the pursuit of understanding. The pursuit of understanding themselves in so many nuanced ways, and the pursuit of understanding others, truly. Too often, people jump to conclusions, make assumptions, assume the worst, assume they know all, and aim to reinforce for ego’s sake. But maybe the first step is for people to make the decision and choice to try, to try to understand themselves first, and try to understand other people by asking questions and being open to what they do not really know or understand.
Understanding, in my belief, is an ultimate act of unconditional love. That is not to say we need to endeavor to understand everyone, but it is more to say: try to understand when it comes up in your day-to-day interactions, or even with your family members, friends, and colleagues. Start small, where you can, realistically in your everyday life. It does not need to be a grand gesture, but it can be shared in your presence and your intention to truly and wholeheartedly see, listen to, and understand yourself and another.