Unconditional Love Through Understanding
It is my personal belief that unconditional love is not necessarily about what we do and what we give, but more about how we endeavor to understand.
It is in the culture of the times, to define ‘unconditional love’ as unconditional giving and receiving. That to love you must give and receive, and that it must be done selflessly and unconditionally, according to legacy spiritual and religious messaging. But in today’s times, not everyone is in a place where they can give unconditionally as they do not know how to even ‘give’ to themselves. And more importantly, we as a society have lost touch with what the truth of love even means and feels like. Our capitalistic culture has shaped the way we perceive and understand the meaning of ‘giving and receiving’ in accordance to the behavior of consumerism. Even to the extent that love is an even exchange, similar to a consumer exchange. I give to you, therfor you give to me, in some material or actionable form. We are programmed to believe that love is something that is tangible, an action, a thing, a visible demonstration of a concept or interpretation of what we believe ‘love’ is. But not necessarily in any way reflective of the truth and actual feelings of love. An illusion of love can be reinforced, without the truth of love being felt.
Society understands the ‘act of love’, but not how to exist or ‘be in love.’ Love is not necessarily in the giving or in the action, it can simply be in ‘the being.’ Of merely being alive, open, present, connected, feeling. Love, first, as a presence. Then, an action. We also do not necessarily need to receive love from anyone or anything as an expectation, but rather, we can simply receive love because its energy is all around us when we embody it. When we have learned how to embody the energy of love within ourselves, then it is a choice to open, to receive, to notice, and to feel it. We do not have to wait or expect for it to be given, we can simply be and open to love, at any moment and any time. Love can be received, freely, from thin air.
Nature is our greatest reminder of this. We can simply remember by being alone and present in the middle of a forest surrounded by trees, or in the loving observation of two birds chirping at and grooming each other, or in the warm embrace of the wind. We will not receive love if we choose to not be open to it in the most simple and natural ways. Love does not have to be extravagant, nor necessarily take any physical form. As love ultimately is energy, and it not bound by form.
I understand that in today’s times, it is complex and challenging. That everything feels all jumbled and confused, and illusions and suffering is rampant. Therefor, I don’t think the same old message of unconditional love as unconditional giving and receiving, of actions, is a helpful one. We should be careful to not fall into martyrdom, believing we must overly give when we need to first tend to ourselves. Instead, maybe we can break it down into baby steps for people. Maybe before they can give and receive unconditionally to others, and even before they are able to do that for themselves, perhaps they can simply start with unconditional love as the pursuit of understanding. The pursuit of understanding themselves can be a pathway to embodiment of love. Understanding all the nuances of oneself, in the most loving and intentional way. And this can extend to opening to understand others as well. Too often, people jump to conclusions, make assumptions, assume the worst, assume they know all, and aim to reinforce for ego’s sake. But maybe the first step is for people to make the decision and choice to try, to try to understand themselves first, and try to understand other people by asking questions and being open to what they do not really know or understand.
Understanding, in my belief, is an ultimate act of unconditional love. That is not to say we need to endeavor to understand everyone, but it is more to say: try to understand when it comes up in your day-to-day interactions, or even with your family members, friends, and colleagues. Start small, where you can, realistically in your everyday life. It does not need to be a grand gesture, but it can be shared in your presence and your intention to truly and wholeheartedly see, listen to, feel, and understand your self and another. Love can be realized when people and energy come together without attack or defense. No matter how different, if mutual cooperation is felt by both, there is always an opportunity for love.