Understand Your Societal Contract

Oftentimes we get caught up in the pressure to perform. As if we do not belong to ourselves but we belong to this greater movement of productivity. What we desire to do must be put on hold for what is the correct thing to do.

It is seemingly easier to do what we believe is the ‘responsible’ thing to do, and rationalize it by telling ourselves we are being ‘good.’ In a conventional lifestyle one is to focus their time and energy primarily on work and making money, then whatever is leftover it is to be a good parent, family member, friend, and member of community. It is our unspoken duty or contract that is signed on our behalf at birth, with the conditions tied to the country and community we are born into. The moment we are born into this world the contract is signed and we are already accounted for as an active member of society. From that moment forward, it is to dictate how we are to be, what role we are to play, and how we are to behave and communicate. There will be a strict curriculum and code that will be reinforced by all members of society ensuring that we play our part.

What really matters here is how we are to use our energy. In the contract it is dictated that our energy is to be used for the contribution and participation of our economy, and the prosperity of our nation. Our energy is to be used to maintain the wheels of capitalism. To keep it powered, and to keep it going. All that we dream of as children is to remain there in childhood, and cast aside when we enter our formative years in higher education and into the workforce shortly after. We let go of our dreams and we embrace practicality; a rite of passage that transforms a child into an adult. We leave behind our personal power, our belief in our individuality, and our ability to imagine and dream.

At age 5 we begin school. Education curriculums are structured with goals and restrictions set by the government. There is an approval process with local constituents to ensure it is compliant with the values of the community. Every education curriculum varies and it is largely dictated by the community one grow up in. Everything that you learn and read and the ways in which you are socialized are all in line with the type of member your community wants you to become.

From ages 7-14 are peak for development of our emotional body or self. But those years also correspond with formal education in an institution that reinforces self-control and discipline. Children are usually not taught the skills of emotional regulation as it is better to repress and keep in.

From ages 14-20 are peak for development of our astral body or self, which corresponds to the development of reasoning, thinking and intellect. But those years also correspond with higher education in an institution that reinforces getting the answer ‘right’, and favoring memorization over problem-solving and creative skills. The ability to think for yourself and to question are contrary to societal control and uniformity. Those years also correspond to university when alcoholism is rampant and encouraged. Conveniently killing brain cells and impairing cognitive development during a critical time.

From ages 21-28 are peak for development of our mental body or self, which corresponds to the development of the psyche, individualism, gifts and talents. But those years correspond with finding your place in the workforce, an institution that reinforces productivity and being an appropriate ‘culture fit.’ Any individuality is cast aside, and any development of inherent gifts or talents are redirected to what is needed within a workplace. Most of the time most people don’t even reach this phase nor the previous one as they haven’t properly developed their emotional selves. This is why so many people struggle with finding their purpose or direction in life.

And from ages 28-35 are peak development of the spiritual body, which is considered a very abstract and faraway concept for most because the majority of people are still stuck in the development of the emotional body. Their bodies have aged but their selves have not developed beyond the ages of 7-14.

And that is why our self-care culture speaks about caring for our inner child. Because so many of us living in a traditional society have been programmed to grow only our physical bodies and stop short at emotional development. Our adult bodies are literally housing a child inside because that’s as far as development took us. That is why so many people still focus on survival and primary physical needs like shelter, food, money, sleep, and sex. And still struggle with expressing themselves emotionally in healthy ways. It is far easier to be content with performing your duties of the contract to work and make money when you have only developed as far as your physical body. Because all our society wants us to do is to work and procreate. If you have fulfilled your duties of securing a ‘stable’ job, buying a house, getting married, and having children…congratulations on fulfilling your purpose in life.

Understandably, many people will feel deep down that something is missing. But in our society, we’re told that the way to deal with that uncomfy feeling is to focus on giving to others, going to therapy, taking a vacation, going on a retreat, taking up yoga, getting a hobby, going shopping or giving yourself a makeover. Whatever it is, just continue your participation in the consumerism cycle.

Deep down, I believe most people can feel when something is not right. When something big is missing in their lives. Deep down we all know that we deserve better. Deep down we know that there is more than the small lives we allow ourselves to live. Deep down we desire more meaning and joy in our lives.

I’d like to believe that it is possible for people to free themselves and let go of all the limitations they hold themselves captive to. That we still have the right to dream and create meaningful lives for ourselves. That the contract signed on our behalf at birth does not mean we gave consent to begin with. That we are entirely within our right to rip up that contract and create a new one for ourselves.

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Man and Woman: Let’s Create a New Story

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What We Learn from Pain and How to Process It